Monday, September 17th, 2012

Woke up. Urinated. Went to the kitchen to eat a bagel and realized I left the bag out all night. Worried that the mice got into it. I checked the plastic bag for holes and found one. Threw it in the trash and went back to bed. Realized that the bagel in the trash would attract mice and got up and took it out of the trash. Thought about putting a couple more bags on it but was too lazy and threw it in the refrigerator. Went back to bed. Worried that I might forget later and accidentally eat the bagel. Thought about breaking it up into pieces and throwing it down the toilet (no garbage disposal) but ended up drifting off to sleep.

Woke up about an hour and a half later. Went to a nearby restaurant for breakfast. Started eating pancakes but the shine on the passenger-side window of a parked car out the restaurant window was hurting my eyes. One second before I got up, an African-American man sat down in the seat next to me. Moved to a seat facing away from the window. About 20 seconds after I got up, I realized that, when I got up, the African-American man might have thought it was because I was racist and didn’t want to sit next to him. Looked at him to try to judge if that was true, but he was facing away from me and I couldn’t see his expression. Ate the rest of my breakfast with the vague feeling that at any second he’d turn around and blow up at me. It kind of ruined my breakfast.

Went to a nearby supermarket to buy groceries. Going in the door, I was stuck behind an old woman who was moving extremely slowly. She was very short and after 10 seconds I had a mental image of myself leapfrogging over her. I think I seriously considered it for half a second and my muscles actually strained forward to do it. Asked the manager if he had a part-time job and he said no but he said I could fill out an application but I had to do it online. I asked him what the url was and he said I had to go online to find it.

When I was buying groceries, I saw a news magazine at the magazine rack that had a picture of Obama on the cover with a great expression and great lighting that would be really good to draw from. Didn’t want to buy the magazine so I started to reach for my camera. Just then the manager who I’d asked about the job stopped in front of the magazine rack right next to me and just stood there reading the magazines. Knew he might not hire someone who was taking pictures in the store, thinking I was taking pictures of female customers or something. Waited for about 20 seconds for him to go but he just stood there reading so I ended up spending $5 on a magazine for a small photo on the cover.

Went home. Watched “Arrested Development” on DVD. Accidentally took a bite of the bagel I threw out earlier, and threw back in the refrigerator, as I was afraid I would. Spit it out in the toilet. Since I was there anyway, I tore up the rest of the bagel, as I’d considered doing earlier, and flushed it. Started to draw the picture of Obama. After I did the pencil outline, I was worried that I’d ruin it so I decided I’d better wait ’til Staples was open to make copies. Called 9 people and got nothing but voicemail and was too depressed to leave a message. Sat in a chair feeling anxious and depressed. Wrote this blog. Defecated. Went to bed.


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